To the 16-year-old kid, who has learnt to survive on his own, has gotten used to the idea of going against the common sense, and has found a path to keep himself grounded in this never-ending proliferation of toxic diversity. He wonders at what time would our divisive society stop giving right for hatred and violence to continue to rise above everything that defines our common humanity? And he wonders how could we create and sustain deep, meaningful connection in our supposedly interrelated society without losing our authentic selves?
I don’t know whether this has happened to many people, but have you ever felt so frustrated that you met someone, spent so much time hanging out with them and getting to know them, but then one day, the friendship just faded away? Have you ever been so close to someone in high school, but have never talked to them again ever since the graduation? Have you ever seen yourself pouring your heart out to someone, had all of those emotional moments with them, and then one day, gradually, the chemistry’s just going away? Were those tears worth it?
Have you ever wondered why something like that happened in our life? Was it our fault that the friendship fell apart, or was it because we all have changed, grown up and become more distant to each other in terms of values, beliefs or the ways we view the world? Should the constantly-moving advances of the internet be responsible for those crucial losses? How do we know at which moment we must make an effort to keep the friendship alive? And what would be the time we should just learn to let it go?
I don’t have an answer to any of those above questions. Of course at one time or another, we’ve all been there, trying really hard to crack those perplexing puzzles, but unfortunately, the creation of time forces it to fly far away from our train of thoughts without any traces for us to look back, reflect and find a way out. Time is both a magical and illusive concept, isn’t it? Somehow in a way, I believe that every encounter we’ve had in our lives, carries a special and hopeful meaning that we might not be able to see nor interpret at that particular moment, but all will make sense to us somewhere along the road.
Also, the end of something is just a sign for the beginning of something new, right? And even if something’s not meant to be retained, the memories are still there. The connection are still there. I don’t think anyone can ever deny its authenticity. And isn’t being authentic what keeps us connected? The impacts that that person might have had made on our life at that particular moment, are still alive. Wouldn’t it mean that at least that person may have taught us something important about ourselves and the capacity to project more moments of gratitude into the wonders of life?
A sustainable relationship, to the realization of my own, contains two vital aspects, physical and spiritual. So, even when our connection with someone is lost physically, on a spiritual level, we still sometimes think of that person whether consciously or unconsciously. We still care about them on some level. And as long as we know that they’re living a happy life, we’d be happy for them. I guess that’s how we come to grips with the “unofficial” ending of the relationship. We have to accept the fact that we just don’t have the capacity and energy to save every single relationship we’ve built up throughout our life because the harder we try to do that, the more depleting our energy sources get. And we may end up exhausting our mental health.
I remember someone telling me that in life, we will meet many different people and build many meaningful relationships, but also along that road, some people will become our “soul friends.” A soul friend is not just someone we’re ready to tell them everything that happens in our life, but it is someone with whom we’re able to connect emotionally and spiritually. It is someone with whom we feel comfortable at sharing and revealing our most vulnerable sides before the world could see it. And if that person is in pain, there’s a good chance that we’re also in pain. And in a much less visible way, our soul are always intertwined no matter where we are.
last summer in Montreal,